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thunderbird
07-01-2008, 11:37 PM
I hope you like it. Then again I'm not the best writer, so...

Finding Someone New
Cara sat at a lunch table alone eating some of
the baked potatoe and Jello on her tray.
She wanted to use her powers at school so bad.
But she can't anymore...
She didn't like school as much as she used too.
Was it because being fifteen was such a mean age to her?
Then this guy with Black hair sat down at her table.
"Hi..Your Cara, right." He said trying to converse with her.
"Yes...you are?" Cara said
"Dylan A.K.A the big bad wolf." Dylan said
Cara giggled.

Tell me if you like the begining.

evol
07-02-2008, 03:49 PM
I like it, but I think you switched the tense in the middle, where it says 'but she can't anymore' instead of 'but she couldn't'

thunderbird
07-02-2008, 09:30 PM
Sorry..I'm terrible with that stuff. Here you go..

"Your a giggle-box, do you play the guitar?" He said staring at the guitar pick
hung on a chain around her neck.
"Yeah..I've wrote a few songs," She said digging into her tote.
She handed him a notebook.
"those are the songs I've wrote."
He looked through the book.
"Your very poetic...I only play the piano." Dylan said
Cara blushed. He was so cute.
The bell rang.
"I've got to go, Advanced Math can only wait so long." She said getting up.